Autumn Budget 2026: In defence of cheaper gherkins, nature’s Ozempic

Ahead of the Autumn Budget 2026, and the threat of cheaper gherkins for all, Adam Bloodworth on his love for the humble pickled vegetable, which is both delightfully crunchy and a hack to health My housemate Will has always been the sort of man with impossible levels of fitness. So when I started a new eat-healthier regime, I went to Will with some questions. I didn’t ask how he got muscular (I assumed that would be from lifting weights) – what felt more relatable was to ask him what he was eating. One of the hacks, he said, is gherkins. They have three calories a piece, he told me, beaming, in our kitchen.  So it was music to my ears when Burnham’s first budget unveiled an unprecedented price-drop for gherkins in the form of a 12 per cent tariff cut for importing them.  They also have tartness, a light sweetness, and that famously generous crunch. Once the whole gherkin is inserted into your mouth, they require you to eat a bit like a dog, jaw swinging, eyes fixed, to ensure